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Broken Pieces

You stabbed me and then pretended you were the one bleeding.

black-white-artwork-by-russian-photographer-victoria-ivanova-2

But I don’t care about that because I’ve discovered you’re now the one who needs healing
The “‘tourette’s'” your twisted thoughts were inflicted with, forced your arms into self destruct mode.

But unknowingly, we were each other

I thought there was a way to bind up burns till I remembered

You made me fall, but both of us shattered.
Both of us shattered.

Then I alone found a way to turn my bitter self into a garden of roses.
Yes, roses. Thorns and all.

It took me time; you were nowhere to be found. But I was so ready to fix both of  us.
Then I finally saw you!
But when I looked at you, I saw that your gaze was fixed in another direction.
Instead of us.

I knew you were going to build my shell

But as you showed me your scars, I only held you closer. And as the light in you went dark, I saw you turn over.

You were holding on to my broken arm, ready to limp away with it.
You shouldn’t have.
But I eventually left you to take my arm with you. Anywhere.
As far as that broken leg would take you.
But you held on too tight.
And I needed my arm back.

And as you ripped it all apart, that was when I turned to watch you.
And as the light in you went dark, I saw you turn to shadow.

You had gone too far.

Maybe without me you’ll return to the beauty I once knew. But if I’d stayed, I know we would both have been drowned by you holding on to me.

So I hit you.
And took it back.
Tried to save my blood from all that you’d broken and pack up the pieces of me.

My parents warned me about the drugs in the streets but never the ones with soft eyes and a heartbeat.

It was too late to stop the process.

I was done.
You were gone.

You left to go and either hurt someone else, or to hurt yourself the more.
I don’t think it ever stops hurting, giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else.

You posses now, more knowledge than when I first saw you. I hope you never forget all that I told you. You haven’t applied your heart to wisdom yet but I hope you do, eventually.

I want to thank you for never being there anymore.
And you will never find another me. I promise.
But I’m not sorry, for your absence forced me to find my own way.

Yes, I’ve started my whole life over.
Now it’s true that I dream less often But I’ve become a woman.
Still healing, but still, a woman.
Nowadays I walk over things that used to trip me.

These scars aren’t pretty, but they’re a part of me and will not ever fade away.

Now I do not need any human to survive.
Fear used to tie me down to everything but the true love of He Who made me, cuts the strings. Now I will jump.
I’m braver now. Ready to become a person no matter how long it takes me.
I don’t have to be strong enough to be what I need to be because Philippians 4:13

I’m independent of mortals, relying only on the source of true freedom.
I was planning on going all sassy with this and especially towards the end and finishing with something like “My ex a hoe” (some girl randomly tweeted that yesterday and I couldn’t help the laughter)

But I guess not.I hope you live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.

And I hope you never see this.

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