So I turned 16
Now all I keep thinking is “sixteen.”
I don’t know what to do. I feel like stopping here. Stopping time. Postponing
maturity. It saddens me. I’m not were I ought to be. And its my fault.
I don’t know what to do with myself. No, it’s not the end of the world, but I think I’m at my wits end
Know that “You try, you fail, you try, you fail” thing? I’m tired of it. I want to be better
but I don’t know how.
I don’t know who I am any more.
The dreams I held so tight have lost their meanings. I’ve been
wandering in a cycle called life and now I feel lost. Too many things have happened to me and now I have almost nothing to hope for. There’s nothing to hold
on to. I just want things to be better. But I don’t know if
healing will ever come. But really, I feel like just giving up and
blaming it all on my parents.
I need to be reminded who i am. But I don’t know how I feel so I don’t know how to tell anyone. I don’t even have anyone to tell. No one even cares and it seems the Thousand Foot Crutch has let both of my feet slip. Life is pain and suffering and horror.
I’ve tried everything. But now, I’m tired.
Tired of life.
If I could just end it.
I want to disappear. Why did I even have to be born.
Know when heartache wakes you up at 3am and all you can do is sob into your pillow so your cries don’t wake anyone?
I just want for once, to be happy but I realized that I, had a long time ago, died inside.
Before even knowing what it meant to live.
Being here, is being brave
But what if I never get my life together?
Ending it would be nice then?
Every time I run away from the arms of failure, discouragement
Now I’m getting older and I’m still looking for a reverse before it’s too late.
I want to live, though.
Please. Bring me back.
Not where I left off, but to start again